We drive a LOT now that we live in the middle of nowhere. Dan’s VA appointments generally require 170-350 miles of driving for each one, and we typically go once a week to some form of appointment. Obviously, we have to entertain ourselves as much as possible during these excursions, as even a radio signal is hard to find out in the middle of nowhere.
Everyone knows (or should know) the games you play while driving in a car. Padiddle is fun, and “Punch Buggy” is another form of fun, if you consider punching your brother in the back seat as fun. I know my boys do!
I like the softer, gentler version of the VW game by calling out the color of the car just like they do in the commercial. “Red One!” “Blue One!” “White One!”
The other day I had seen one and yelled, “White one!”
Dan corrected me to say it wasn’t actually white. It was an “off” white color and didn’t count… which means he just wanted to yank my chain about “finding it first.”
Well, today was a day that involved a lot of driving, which means we found ways to have a lot of fun. First we stopped at the car collision place to get an estimate on the damages from Dan hitting a deer earlier this week. We arrived in the parking area and the adjuster greeted us with, “Hey folks! How are you today?”
My reply? “Deer One, Car ZERO!”
Hey, you might as well have a few laughs if you have to sit around and wait, right? The adjuster was definitely ready to help us, even pointing out things we didn’t see ourselves. He downright took care of EVERYTHING that needed fixed on the car.
Dan talked about how he didn’t MEAN to hit the deer, and we laughed at how we bet everyone says that. Right about then, a customer came out from the back garage area balancing a delightful piece of lemon meringue pie on a plate. He walked past me and my eyes met the target….this guy has PIE! It had the most beautiful golden color on the meringue, and the peaks were calling to me like Mt. Everest calls out to a climber…I had to get to those peaks!
I chirped up with excitement, “Free PIE? You guys give away FREE PIE for crashing your car? I want free pie! Well, heck…how about I crash my car every week so I can get FREE PIE all the time?”
Dan rolled his one eye at me, not realizing I was just famished from all the fun and likely getting delirious from the lack of pie-fed insulin, and said, “Yeah, well, that’s easy for you to say when *I* pay the premiums for our policy!”
Then he said something about my driving abilities…and I responded with…”Yeah, well…who hit the deer?”
He knows I am the better driver. Oh, do we love to tease each other. 🙂
By the end of our appointment, the adjuster had written a personal note to us thanking us for making his day fun and how he wished it were always that easy.
How often does one leave the insurance adjuster’s office feeling like they were glad you wrecked your car? That was…weird!
Then, we were off to the VA for a round of appointments.
Dan prefers to take his Sony Reader book with him, as the wait time between appointments can be quite frustrating, especially after a long drive. He will just occupy his mind with an e-book and get through the day.
Well, I sat down on his e-book by accident. He reached down to tell me that I had just invaded the space of his electronics. I replied, “Honey, I am just trying to read it using ass-mosis!”
“Good one, Torrey. GOOOOD one!” Dan said.
We left the VA later in the day, and I had mentioned that we had not yet eaten lunch. Dan asked what I wanted to eat and I said “ANYTHING!” I was starved. He was on a mission once he realized how hungry I was, because if I am starved I am not so much fun to be with.
He pulls out of the parking lot onto the main road and I spot a VW parked in the adjacent parking lot.
What are the odds? I see this SAME off white colored VW and announced out loud in a tone that signified more of a question than a statement….”Beige One?”
The inflection of my voice changed EVERYTHING.
Dan slammed on the brakes and pulled off into the shopping center entrance asking, “Where, where?!” like it was some huge deal that I saw a VW bug. That confused the hell out of me, because he’s never done that before. So I say, “where what?”
He asked, “Where’s that Chinese restaurant, on the left or the right?”
Huh? I didn’t say we had to go to a Chinese restaurant. I ask, “What Chinese restaurant?”
He said, “The Bay-schzuan restaurant…is it on the left or the right?”
I swear to you…I about peed my pants laughing at him. I can’t help but to laugh, and I hated to do it because I know he’s brain injured, half deaf, and half blind. It’s cruel to laugh…but he thought when I yelled “Beige One!” I was announcing the name of a restaurant with schezuan cuisine called “Bay-schzuan”.
When I explained it to him, we laughed for 50 more miles.
On the way back, Dan announced that since I made fun of him, I wasn’t allowed to play Padiddle because we were in a car that was already missing a headlight and it negated any other cars we saw with one headlight.
So I told him, “I may not be able to say Padiddle…but I can say BAY-SCHZUAN any time I please! Watch out for that deer!”
Life is good. 🙂